The World Through My Eyes

Soreen_Fruity_Malt_Loaf

Weirdly, I have discovered a liking for malt loaf. Usually the reserve of grannies, eaten with an afternoon cup of tea, I find myself buying it for snack time. I am not sure why I have this association of soreen with grannies, but I just do.

That is all.

I am free! I have completed my second year of university. A year late, but meh, whatever. Feels good.

The weather in the UK over the weekend has been amazing; hot and sunny, clear blue skies. I have been making the most of it, and spent most of the time in the garden sunbathing (yes, I even got the bikini out, even though I need quite a few more trips to the gym before people should see me in it).

I have an interview for a work experience placement tomorrow at 10am; I have spent a few hours over the past two days preparing for it. I am pretty nervous, so I won't say much more about it until I know how it goes. It would be awesome if I got it, I need the money! and paid work experience placements are extremely rare.

Over the next week or so I intend to start sorting my room out in preparation for moving, and maybe start shopping around for new house stuff :) Oh, and get a tan and go to the gym as much as possible.

Basically I will be mooching around until the 12th June, when Richard is taking me to his home darn sarf, to meet his parents, brother, and all his friends. Eek. :s

I guess I should make the most of this free time, I have a feeling it is the calm before a storm of activity.

So. One more exam stands between me and the end of my second year of university. I know that I am not going to do well in it; the exam is in research methods, the most dry and boring module I have done this semester. It is mostly common sense, and a lot of it reminds from taking sociology at A level... but I should have started revising a lot earlier than I did; namely yesterday. I have done a little today, but I have just gone past caring about it now. sigh. It is going to be a late night of cramming for me; I need to go over experimentation, and quite a few case studies, and then surveys and maybe focus groups again. I think that a shower will refresh me, and I will revise til I fall asleep. Unfortunately I learn best by writing things out, and then reading them over and over... dull stuff. Oh well, I guess it will all be all over 11am tomorrow. It will be a huge relief, and since I have been getting 2:1s all year, I suppose getting a 2:2 in this module, which I will expect, won't affect me that much.

Still, although I have started this post in quite a depressing way, I can't help but feel generally positive and optimistic. I have finally done it, well I will have by tomorrow; finished my second year! after messing it up last year and deferring, I feel like this is quite an achievement, and I am so happy to be heading into my third year. I know that if I keep at it I will get my degree in the end :)

I am in such a better mindset than I was last year. I have changed quite a lot; the way I behave, see myself, and how I deal with things in my life. Although I have been on anti depressants for almost exactly two years now, I have finally begun to see a difference in myself, and hope that I am getting better and will be able to function normally and without them. Although my doctor has made no mention of taking me off them for awhile, which I am happy with for now.

I have been with R for just over six months now; I am finally in a happy and stable relationship. I couldn't be any happier with him, I can't believe how lucky I am to have found him, and have him feel the same way about me.

I guess in general it seems like things are looking up for me; I am learning not to take the good things in my life for granted, and to try to remain positive when things go wrong or life gets harder than usual. I think it all comes down to appreciating what you have.

I got a call today; I have an interview for a work experience placement (through the shell steph agency I have mentioned previously) on Tuesday 2nd June, at 10am. I will have to spend the weekend preparing quite a lot for this interview; I will post more detail about it later. It would be awesome if I got it.

I will be making a lot of lists and plans very soon, starting tomorrow. After my exam I am going into town, to buy an interview outfit and various other things.

This post is mostly cathartic on my part. Just wanted to get my thoughts out.

EDIT: I have just realised that my exam is 1pm-3pm not 9am-11am as I thought. This is rubbish, as I wanted it to be over! I suppose I should be thankful for the extra hours... but I am not.

I had to do another post - because I have exciting holiday news! :)

R and I just booked a small holiday to Barcelona. We are going on the 22nd of June, for 3 nights. It was just over £200 each for the flights and hotel, with about £15 for train tickets to Manchester Airport and back. I can't really afford to do this, but I took it out of the money that my nana left me, because I think that she would like it if she knew that I were spending the money on good things like this, and not just living from it (which I may have to do this summer.. meh.. cross that bridge when I come to it).

The hotel looks pretty good. It is called Confortel Auditori, I google image searched it:

Camera-matrimoniale

It looks very shiny! and the reviews on tripadvisor.com sound pretty good - it seems to be in a quieter, more residential area, but well linked with transport and only a 20 or 30 minute walk from most of the attractions that we would like to visit :)

I am going to raid the library for guide books to Barcelona now - I can't remember the last time I went on a "proper" holiday. Last June I went to back to Lanzarote to see my mum, so I guess that counts, but as for travelling to somewhere new, I have not been outside of the UK in years... not that it matters, I would consider a trip somewhere in the UK as travelling too (as a matter of fact, there are lots of places that I would like to go that are not so far away).

And - it is a real holiday with my awesome lovely boyfriend ... cue vomit. I'm sure we will be ready to kill each other by the end of all that time together, alone. Although possibly not, we are pretty good at spending lots of time together without any arguments or anything. I think we are both too laid back for it. Ooh, all of this is making me feel like a real life grown up! Although I am totally not.

I am so looking forward to June. So many good things will be happening.

Now, back to pretending to study for my last exam on Friday.

I have quite a few ramblings I would like to post in this update; since I have not posted since Thursday, and I have been up to quite a lot since then.

However, I have to sort my life out and study for my exam on Friday, so I cannot justify the time to write a post. Maybe later tonight :)

I would like to draw your attention to one thing though; I went to Stag & Dagger festival on Friday, and saw Jeremy Radway AKA Player Piano at Brudenell Social Club. I like to discover new music, and he was brilliant, a very talented performer with an awesome voice. I love him a little bit.

I don't know what is wrong with me today - I am 21, but I feel physically about 60 years old! I am very tired, I just had a two hour nap, followed by a cup of coffee and a yoghurt instead of a trip to the gym which I had hoped to achieve (I am not sure I will have burnt off quite the same about of calories with that activity).

So... on Wednesday morning I had my Social Communications exam. It was okay ish, quite traumatic, as I am generally rubbish at exams and am sure I'm being mentally scarred by them. They are scary! I had to answer two essay questions in two hours, had prepared by studying two theorists; Walter Benjamin and Jean Baudrillard. I think that I answered the Benjamin question fine, but not so much the Baudrillard; I could not grasp the question really, so I just threw it all the concepts that I knew and it kind of went to shit :S oh well, it is done now.

It was Kat's birthday yesterday. There was much scoffing of BBQ food, buns, crisps and fizzy pop. Bleh, I was very full and sleep by around 9pm. It was fun, always nice to have lots of our friends gathered together under one roof.

This morning I had my trial volunteer session at the art gallery, basically just assisting the exhibitions officer with her marketing and promotion stuff. She showed me around, I got to explore secret parts of the library! well, not really much of it but I still found it exciting that I had to get buzzed into the Special Collections office :o I worked with her in her office, on a different computer and basically sent out a lot of emails and updated various websites, working from her list of contacts, to promote some artist led workshops they are having this month, and then started sending out the press release that she had written for the forthcoming exhibition starting in June. It went pretty quickly even though all I was pretty much doing was copy and pasting - but I was there for two hours, and it was time consuming, so I can see why she wants help with this stuff. I am going back in two weeks for another two hours; not sure what I will be doing then.

Tonight I am going to R's for tea (he is making chilli, nom nom) and going to the pub for C's boyfriend's farewell drinks. I don't think it will be a late one as R has work in the morning, and I intend to get up and go to the gym, and sort my life out in regard to starting studying for the research methods exam on the 29th... boring!

I can't believe how quickly the weekend has gone. I didn't even do very much, just spent it at R's, revising, eating and sleeping. On Sunday morning he took me with him to Morrisons, I always get far too excited when I go to the supermarket. I think that because I have become so used to ordering the food shop online and getting it delivered (which is much easier than trying to carry everything back from town and onto buses and blah). Supermarket shopping makes me feel like a proper grown up, ha. Except that I always revert to being a child and demand that we buy things like pick n mix (which we did.. and then ate it all). So now I have lots of food to keep me going (hopefully until we move out) but that also means that I have too much choice at mealtimes! I just can't decide!

Yesterday morning I woke up with a sore throat, cough and general phlegmy ness which is proving to be most unpleasant. I have paracetamol and throat lozenges, and I am going to beat it! This always seems to happen to me around exam time - in January I got tonsillitis just before my exams. I think it is my body's way of punishing me for trying to cram everything in at the last minute - that or just coincidence, since two of my housemates have been ill so it was bound to get me in the end.

I am really dreading my first exam on Wednesday. I turn into a huge baby when it comes to exams - there are usually tantrums, tears and wailing from me before any exam. I guess everyone feels the same though, so the only option is to try and study as much as I can and hope for the best... and try to do better next year of course :P

The rest of this week is looking pretty busy - It is Kat's birthday on Wednesday and she is having a barbeque in our newly built garden. Thursday morning I am going for a trial volunteer at the art gallery that I mentioned in in a previous post and on Thursday evening we are going to farewell drinks for C's boyfriend. On Friday I guess the actual revision for my second exam (Research Methods, bleh) will commence, and I have a doctor's appointment and gym time planned for that day too. 

At least it will be the weekend again before I know it.

Trekmovieposter1t

I went to see Star Trek with R last night. I don't know why I had the urge to see it, possibly just that the trailers looked amazing and that it is directed by J.J. Abrams (writer of Lost). It was absolutely brilliant; I am not sure how to convey a sense of gushing in this blog, but believe me if I could I would be gushing all over this film. Just over two hours long, but it flew by; the plot was quite complicated but then all is explained. I have never really watched any of the old Star Trek episodes, or any of the newer ones (although I would now really like to and become a massive Trekkie geek) but of course everyone knows these characters, such as Spock and Kirk, and they live up to all expectations in the film. You know that feeling you get when you leave the cinema but you just want to go back in and watch it all again? I had that, and I will definitely be going to see it again if I can :)

Before the film we went for Pizza Express, and like fatties had garlic bread, pizzas and then shared an ice cream sundae (it was amazing, and although it spoiled all the work I have done at the gym this week, it was totally worth it...vanilla ice cream with chocolate brownie pieces and chocolate sauce, nom nom nom).

This week is kind of passing me by - I have six days until my first exam but now I have a plan. I will spend three days each on the two theorists I am going to study, (Walter Benjamin and Jean Baudrillard, if anyone is interested) and learn their concepts and commit some quotes to memory, and perhaps try and make some kind of essay plans based on the past papers. Meh. I am rather nervous about this exam but it will be okay. I am trying a new approach to revision and typing up my notes instead of writing them out - figured it would be neater and if I can then print them out and highlight all over them it may help.

I had a telephone interview for some work experience yesterday. It went okay I think, and I will know by the end of the week what the next stage is. I will post more about that when I know - I don't want to go into lots of detail only to find out I don't stand a chance. I really want it too.

Anyway... the next few weeks are going to suck, so words of enouragement are welcomed!

I have approximately 25 minutes to kill before I go to the gym, so I thought I would write an update. I should probably be revising every minute of every day instead, but this is not possible for me as I have the attention span of a hyperactive 5 year old crossed with a narcotic elderly person. Yup.

Brighton beach

So I decided to give myself the weekend off from uni work after writing all those essays, and for some reason on Friday exams seemed like they were weeks away (when in fact my first one is May 20th, which is one week away). On Saturday morning Martin and I got up pretty early and blitzed- cleaned the house, after making a trip to the supermarket to buy the necessary supplies. We cleaned everything in the kitchen, including the fridge oven and microwave, and then the living room and hallways, and I also cleaned the girl's bathroom. We were knackered afterwards, but it was worth it!

On Saturday night we went to Brighton Beach,a monthly club night usually held in the union. It was the first time I had been - and what I can remember of it, I really enjoyed. Unfortunately I thought it was a good idea to drink a bottle of wine before we went out, followed by more wine, and then two double vodkas. I spent quite a lot of time being sick, all over the toilet cubicle, and then on myself, eventually being escorted outside by a bouncer. Thankfully Anna found me and took me home in a taxi - where I had a drunk shower and then passed out. Sunday morning was the start of a horrible two day hangover.. I think I have learned my lesson and won't be drinking (at least that much) for a long time! Urgh.

On Sunday Jade and Bobbie came over for a girly sleepover, even though we are all 21 and probably far too old for that kind of thing. We had take away chinese, and lots of other food, watched shit food and talked until quite late. On Monday morning we went to look at the maisonette that we are moving into soon - they are still building it, but I will let Jade write the excitable and detailed post about it :) I then went into town to help Jade hand out CVs at bars and pubs, and ended up crashing at home for an hour or so when I got back.

Tierney and I went to the gym - first time in forever, I am massively unfit! We plan to go every day this week - only to spend half an hour in there though. Today has flown by - I slept alot, and mooched around generally not achieving very much. I have spent some time deciding which theorists I want to study for my exam in just over a week, and reading the book that the lecturer wrote. I can't really concentrate on much, I know that R is coming back from down south tonight and that I am going to see him and stay over at his :) I am going round at about 9pm, I am so excited, I have missed him very much!

I love this advert. It makes me so happy, and I cannot explain why!

Today I did a presentation with my group at uni, went to town and bought an epilator (£47- ouch but hopefully worth it in the long run), also spent money I do not have on tights, socks, a dress (sale, £8) underwear and a necklace and some mascara.

It is such a relief that essays are in. This weekend I am entering exam denial, and probably won't do much about organising revision until Monday. It should still be an eventful weekend though, only filled with activities that do not involve uni work.